two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
