shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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