Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
