But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize