if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
