Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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