Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
