Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize