what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
