Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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