saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
