new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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