come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
