did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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