I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
