Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
