I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
