my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
