is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
