they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just threw up on my dentist
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It was like giving head to a cactus.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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