We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize