Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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