I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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