we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
