Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
