The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize