someone threw a dead crab at me
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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