I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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