hotel room ftw
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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