I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize