it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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