White coat. Heels.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
