This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
