And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
