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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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