ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
