He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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