I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
