nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
