I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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