Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
