Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
