I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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