everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
