I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
