So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
