I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize