i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
