I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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