So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize