Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
