i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
