What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
