i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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