Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Too much gin, very little bucket
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
