omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
