it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
